a secret

   For some reason, I know most people are using xanga as a place to talk about personal things in their life. Yet, no one reads them.. I mean someone MAY come across a weblog and comment it, otherwise this is your place to vent,feel free to write or maybe to put something out there..hm..

  Anyways, that wasn't what point I was trying to point out.  I felt like I should of shared some of my thoughts, facts that may influence you in numerous tactical ways hehe..;) I just got back from Texas, the dirty souffff as they would say it.  Enjoying the heat in my home town, wasn't what I was going for but sure!  I visited my dad in which I wish he was here.  What I liked about being there, I finally found some peace within my family and everything.  I found a way to be completely self-fulfilled and happy.  Once you find this kind of peace you will forever be happy and this is how everyone should feel no matter what disputes or demons you are fighting with.  These things will always have some type of influencing attitude towards other people and I would like for you to keep that in mind.

  I went to church yesterday, and I'm not trying to preach to everyone else..but realize somethings in your life that you need to change.  So, everyone has a purpose or goal to succeed in, but theres gonna be distractions to stop you somewhere in your path to succeedment.  There are the three main distractions:

1) Words of your enemy

2) Tempation

3) Care

The words of your enemy should not get in the way no matter what, because that enemy doesn't want you to walk towards to whatever your success maybe.

Temptation will be knocking at your door everyday and is the enemy, but it is not forcing it onto you to make that decision.

Care, too much care can throw you off track, so the enemy tries to choke you with all of this care

to be cont'd

love, annemarie

   How you ever felt that you were brought down with nothing but just complete disappointment?  When a person is put down in such a harsh way, have some sympathy.  Whether the situation was the person's fault or not.  Everyone in the world has feelings, use them please.  Do not only think about yourself, thing about everyone else's feelings.  Since, you could care for them don't help them if you can't help yourself.  Feeling sorry is just one way showing that you care.  At least, what you can do..perhaps realize what your working up to.  HOWEVER..that isn't the point i'm trying to get at..i lost track somewhere. If you love someone, make the best of your relationship.  Otherwise, you never know what will eventually happen to them.  There is no time of being mad at eachother for the unreasonable things.  If so, make the best of it..consider it your learning experience.

  There is nothing wrong with fallen tears, even when you feel everything has gone to a dead end for you.  Head up, there are worst things that could go on.  We take advantage of everything and when that crosses your mind, you'll stop crying.  If you feel the man is being too sensitive, make sure that your manuevering through talking to him.  Otherwise, hes gonna thing your a cold hearted person.  A person like myself, I've put up with hell at some point in my life that made me into a very aggressive person.  Eventually, your gonna have to show some one special tough love. 

  This is something i learned about silent treatments..I believe that you decide to talk back-this person is getting to you.  If you decide to stay quiet and completely ignore, the person is going to think "what the fuck is going on?"  yup.  However, there are consequences to the silent treatment.  If you decide not to say anything after what the other person was trying to discuss with you..they're are gonna be so angry.  Therefore, they are going to say such horrible things to you.  In which, would lead to a bigger predicament between the two.  The other consequence.. the other person will eventually give in, apologizing the things they said.  This will lead to talking out your problems in a together ideal situation.

  When in a relationship, a man points out a flaw from within you..take it to the heart.  If you know if this man contains more flaws than you, I'd suggest you should make these comments. (only if he's doing it to you) When this flaw is brought onto the topic then don't change..change will only happen when you least expect it.  At first you're going to feel as if he picked the wrong girl and to be quite honest with you guys..at times you make us feel like shit.  Eventually we're gonna put up with it long enough till we snap.  At this point, you are the woman on top.

To him..
  I love you, no one could tell me otherwise.  I'd rather show it than tell you, because i find it such an overrated word.  So please, hear me out with an open mind. 

time for some ventilation.

Why do we people always have the tendencies of putting ourselves through mad procrastination?

I really need to work on that, thats not gonna pass by the time fall semester comes around.
I've been working hard, trying to get things done and when I do your 'golden' its the babysteps that get you there.
Thinking a lot hurts my head, but thats just how I am.  Worrying about things that would get you nowhere.  Another thing is that you need to think about these unimportant things at the moment because time flies.  I thought about my homework so much but at the end of the night i'm stuck doing 4 hours worth of hw.  Ain't that some shit?  Its taken such a toll on me and my social life as well, I have to put people into my schedule especially my boyfriend.  My boyfriend gets fustrated with me because we can't see eachother AS often as we should but we put up with each other's bitchin' anyways. 

Happy five months bubba

Anyways, Words of Wisdom

When we need it the most, we want help, something just so we don't fall in between cracks.  We're looking somewhere else and then you end up in a ditch.  Harsh isn't it?  I miss my family, meaning that I would like for them to be there again.

I have found that when you turn on your snooze button on...you'll never wake up.

second semester senior. sweet

schools great, lifes great and I hate you mother-effing procrastination.

I always told myself I would get through the things I need to..thats only looking at your bright bright future.  However, I never cease to amaze people of what my capabilities are..yeah thats right.

I noticed that my blunt attitude towards people kinda scares them away.. its not that i mean to but damn i can't help it. I'm trying to figure out whatever made that way anyway. 

Underestimation is a bitch, but def. I could prove you wrong in every whichway there is (there it goes again)
I feel like people have taken me a fool, wrong. I turned out the person you at least expected me to be.  Its when you fall really hard and leads you back to square one.  Yet, you start off baby steps and eventually get back to where you were.  for real.

I can't wait till I move out, it'll be what i call coming back to life. haha sounds kinda cheesy.

I'll be what I want to be, and no ones going to show me otherwise. if you do, maybe you'll break down with my wrath roar.

peace and love

sometimes I just really....need you

even putting up with you pulls me a lil' closer